We just quarrelled again. This time i am utterly disappointed with him. He dosen't seem to be the zy i used to be with. Maybe it isn't that serious. But i am really disappointed this time.
We were talking about Friday. Earlier on when i was with him on the way home, we said going out on Friday to have dinner. I assumed we have a dinner, then go and find my buddies and then after the countdown, go his house again. But he thought we were going for a dinner and go home after that.
Just now, Jes told me there is fireworks at Esplanade on New Year Eve. I was so excited about it. I was looking forward to tell him and hopefully we can watch together and welcome the new year. Sounds romantic..and fireworks..recalling our very first date.
Unfortunately, he didn't share the same view. He checked and told me the fireworks starts at 12am. And he emphasized 12 LEH..he said it was too late. He didn't want to stay out too late. But i really want to watch. So i decided to watch it with my friends. Then we realised our plans said earlier were not the same. Then, we thought of solutions. I told him, we go for dinner and after that i go find my friends. But he said he don't want to go home alone. So i thought of accompanying him back to Yew Tee. And go back there and find my friends. He wasn't happy with that too. He said i will waste my time and money. So..how? In the end, we cancelled our dinner.
I don't understand why he can't just spend some time accompanying me. He said it was too late. Oh..so just because he doesn't feel like to, doesn't want to, that's why he never even think of sacrificing a little just to make me jump with joy. Didn't he say he just want to see me happy? A lie? Or what he said, a 'white lie'?
I hate it when he says "Wo de cuo ah?!" or "ok, wo de cuo". Whenever he says that, it seems to be my fault supposingly but i have put the blame on him. To him, maybe i am always that unreasonable. But am i? Am i always asking for too much?
He asked me to understand him. i try, i always try to make him happy, although i was just doing little things, at least i made an effort to. But has he ever make an effort to understand me? Has he ever spare a thought for me? Has he ever try to put himself in my shoes?
I am feeling lost now. I am missing him already. What about him? Games? What he is thinking now is just game. I..I am speechless.
